So lately I have heard the following phrase at least once a day and possibly more than that:
"Well, see ya later! Bye!"
Now let's think about this for a minute; this phrase could be a typical ending to a conversation OR it could be the most abrupt ending on the face of the earth! The ladder has been my experience. This phrase usually indicates "I'm sleepy" or "I'm going now" HOWEVER in my case when it is said to me it means "I'm going now but I want you to hang up first!" Well let's have a little debate here. I think that if you initiate the "good-bye" you should be the first to hang up.
Reasons are threefold.
1. You start it you finish it! I think this is self-explanitory.
2. If you are ready to go, then you should just go. I mean come on, if you are going to make such an abrut ending to a conversation don't prolong the hang up by waiting for the other person.
3. Unfair Pressure- by saying good-bye and then waiting for the other person to hang up, you are putting pressure on them to end the conversation. Although you technically ended it with "Well, see ya later. Bye!" by waiting to hang up you create pressure and an
unsure feeling in the other person as to what they should do. Do I hang up? Do I wait? I
still want to talk, do they not want to talk any more? Is it ok to say something after this?
I DON'T KNOW!! AHHH The pressure is building just thinking about it! I can't take it
any more! Bye!
Be Blessed!!!
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- Mandy
- I love life and I love the Lord! I pray that everyday of my life I am reflecting the love Christ has shown me.
7 comments:
Why make the inevitable longer? I am a big fan of short endings.
Did you watch (I will probably get in trouble for this one) the Return of the King? Good movie, long ending... only seen it once.
There is something about long drawn out endings that make you not so eager to repeat.
Therefore, when you know you will talk again, I see no harm in a brief and tasteful goodbye such as...
"Well, see ya later, bye!"
Well = it has been great talking to you
see ya later = we will talk again
bye = bye
Now... some people struggle with this and therefore it is only polite to allow for them to feel closure by allowing them to hang up first. It is only politne.
I am an advocate of short goodbye's
First let me address the second sentence of your comment. The blog was about “abrupt” endings, not “short” endings. May not seem like a big deal but allow me to show you the difference.
What classifies the previously spoken of ending as abrupt is that it allows for no interresponsation (yes I made that up). If you need to be refreshed on the “abrupt” ending please read the blog again otherwise continue. A “short” ending would go more like this:
Person1: “Well, it’s been good talking to you”
Person 2: “Good talking to you too”
Person 1: “I’ll talk to you later”
Person 2: “For sure”
Person 1: “Goodnight/ Good-bye”
Person 2: “Goodnight/ Good-bye”
This friendly dialogue may seem long typed out but I assure you it only takes a couple of seconds to complete orally. Try it (read it out loud to your self). The idea that it is dialogue and not just one person bringing the conversation to a screeching halt puts this in the “short” ending category.
Hanging up: With the “abrupt” ending the initiator may want to wait for the follower to hang up first, but as mentioned this creates pressure for the follower; unfair pressure. With the “short” ending it doesn’t matter who hangs up first. The pressure has been lifted from both parties involved. The initiator can hang up first is he so chooses because from the responsation in the ending he knows that the follower has closure (indicated by the “goodnight/ good-bye.” At the same rate the follower can hang up first pressure free knowing that they were given a fair opportunity to express any closing remarks without being in the spotlight.
As you can see, I am also an advocate for “short” endings it’s the “abrupt” ones that I don’t like. (I have not seen that movie, or any of the Lord of the Rings movies.)
How about I just hang up in your face with out the phrasaical saying? Will that be short enough? HUH!!! Gasp... phrasaical? Kinda like, Pharasee... Didn't you read my shirt? "You don't have to live like a Pharisee" cousin Is this phrase going to turn into a salvation issue soon?
"Well (and/or welp), see ya later, bye" - is not a problem for me. I often prefer the phrase "Ok, well, I'm going to go now, I'll talk to you later, bye" It is somewhat of a variant you see. An...evolution, if you will. I hate cliches so I often change phrases like this one as often as I think about it.
However, I also chose to linger on the phone after the "final goodbye" phrase to see how much you love me. Can you really let me say "the phrase" just once and then let me go, or do you yearn for my voice and/or presence? I'll just let you know cuz, you often fail my test. However, my love is sufficient for both us.
Because of Our Lord who detests goodbyes,
Cuz
Good comment by the way jred... I was quite in impressed. Kudos-worthy in fact. The LOTR question threw me off a little...quite random.
Well, see ya later, bye
Potter (cuz)
I respect where you are coming from.
However, it is a very relative issue that we are dealing with here. How can you really define the difference between short and abrupt?
Toe-mate-oh, to-maht-oe. Abrupt, short; I really see little difference aside from the fact that what you are calling “abrupt” is significantly shorter than what you would call “short.” It is my belief that the “abrupt” ending in all of its shortness lacks no closure and no pressure to end the conversation because it in fact states the same thing as a “short” answer.
While I see how a “short” ending would be played out, is the same thing not summed up in this conversation?
Person1: "Well, see ya later, bye!"
Person2: "Well, see ya later, bye!"
That’s golden right there, I’m talking about a real gem! I see no pressure when both people in the dialogue understand that what they just said to each other was:
Person1: “Well, it’s been good talking to you”
Person 2: “Good talking to you too”
Person 1: “I’ll talk to you later”
Person 2: “For sure”
Person 1: “Goodnight/ Good-bye”
Person 2: “Goodnight/ Good-bye”
Sure you could go through the technicalities of a “short” ending, but why even bother when an “abrupt” ending is brief and tasteful.
Where does this so called pressure come from anyway? If the initiator has initiated an “abrupt/short” ending (now that we see those are basically the same thing) the pressure to wrap up a conversation has been taken away by the initiator and he/she in no way demands a response to end the conversation. If there was something that needed to be said, there is time, so I am having difficulty seeing the pressure. Should the second person need to say something else, there is no harm in sharing. In fact, the initiator allowed the time for additional sharing by not hanging up and in some regards even expects that to happen. However, should the case be that the conversation has been fully conversed and nothing else need be said… then we have the beauty of the the “abrupt/short” ending.
‘nuff said.
talk about legalism...
Abrupt vs. short. Dear friend, I think what you are stating is exactly the point I am trying to make. You said "I really see little difference aside from the fact that what you are calling “abrupt” is significantly shorter than what you would call “short.”"
This is the obvious. That is precisely the difference. What you may not be understanding is the uneasy feeling that comes with such a sudden end.
Basic communication skills will tell us that effective communication occurs when both parties are engaged into the conversation. While I understand how the abrupt conversation equally involves both parties and could be argued as effective communication, it is a personal preference to complete a conversation with the short ending.
I was recently confronted with the abrupt ending, today actually, and I thought to myself, “self, why don’t you just try this thing out this time. Who knows, maybe I could become an advocate.” So I went along and not 30 sec. later I found myself dialing my friend to complete the conversation properly!
Some may say “it must be a girl thing,” some may say “Mandy, you just like to talk.” Whatever your belief on the issue is I will hold fast to my opinion.
Lack of closure. Unfair pressure. Maybe it’s a guy thing….hum…
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